Diary of a Former Universehopper

Waiting to arive... and waiting.... and waiting...

2009-01-18T11:25:00.000-08:00

Space travel fact number one: hyperspace is slower than a hutt crawling a marathon. Fact number two: that means it is BORING!

I turned on my holonet reciever and watched a episode of Star Trek. Kirk kissed an alien lady. Big surprise there.
I took a nap, played all of Halo 78, and got attacked by pirates. Yep, space pirates.

They tried to shoot me with ion cannons. They succeeded. I let them. I wanted to finish my computer game.

A voice from my computer sounded, "Abandon ship! Abandon ship!"

I turned my submarine game off, and picked up my blaster.

The pirates boarded me and tried to take over. This time they didn't succeed. They were the most strangely dressed pirates that I have ever seen.

The captain said in a fake British accent, "Surrender, and I will spare you."

I shot him. My gun was set on stun. His crew members beat a hasty strategic withdrawal. One of them shouted, "You haven't seen the last of us!" I hope so. They helped me pass the time very well.

I looked at my computer screen. I was there. Nar Shadda, here I come!

Coruscant... and the Empire.

2008-11-27T12:05:00.000-08:00

I can't stand cities. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that the most densely populated planet was one BIG, HONKIN', STINKIN' city!

I had to land, 'cause I was low on fuel. I hit the ground, and was forced onto my stomach by two kind police officers. I can't describe them, because they wore this dorky white armor.

I was taken by shuttle to their interrogation chamber. I was injected with something, and asked some questions. Something that I did must have been right, since they let me go.

I flew to a bank and set up an account.

After two hours of a pointless process, I got one. Then I got off that god-forsaken planet.

Strangely enough, my next destination (and future home), was an even more god-forsaken city-planet.

I was headed for Nar Shadda.

From the Beginning

2008-11-13T13:44:00.000-08:00

I never liked Aach, and I seriously doubted that she cared for me much either. I never suspected, however, that she would try to kick me out of the Universehoppers. Two days ago, when I heard the news, I was confident that she could do nothing to me. I was kicked out 2.345 seconds after the thought crossed my mind. My Universehopping license was revoked, and I was sent, along with my ship, The Albino Raptor, to the backwater reality called 1138.

I was (and still am) recovering from the shock when I was deposited from the Hopperlane, and entered the reality. Immediately, I met a freighter over the planet that the natives called Tatooine.

It was time to pick my shape.

Universehoppers look very strange to outsiders, so we gave ourselves shapeshifting technology. Mine was revoked, thus whichever shape I became I would keep forever.

On the freighter were six beings. Two were droids, so I couldn’t pick them. One was too old, one was too young, and one was too hairy. The other was perfect for my needs. I selected him and immediately felt a change overcome me.

I smiled a smile that I imagine would have been called cocky by humans, and set off for a densely populated sector.

2008-11-13T13:12:00.001-08:00

Hey, is this on? Oops. Sorry